


To See You Smile

by kuri (esmaier)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 21:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5471723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmaier/pseuds/kuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic for IDOLiSH7's "Miss You"<br/>Working notes: Tamaki--->Iori--Riku(dense)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To See You Smile

Going to a new school isn’t all too bad, Tamaki finds. He sits directly behind Iori, and even though Iori scolds him often for eating while their teacher talks, it’s more attention than anyone else has ever bothered to pay him during his time at school.

 

_As we walked home side-by-side,_  
_our shadows swayed_  
_in the evening light –  
_ _these are our tender moments._

 

For Tamaki, it’s best when it is just the two of them.

When there are no girls around, with their voices pitched up to an annoyingly false tone, with their fluttery eyelashes and skirts rolled up to dangerous lengths, leaning over Iori’s desk. Girls who occasionally knock snacks off of Tamaki’s own, yet never notice, and only apologize when Iori excuses himself to lean over and return them to Tamaki himself.

When there are no male classmates around, loudly tearing down both Iori and Tamaki for their musical careers. Tamaki does not care, he has heard far worse from those that have meant more. But he knows Iori takes it personally, by the way Iori’s grip tightens on his pencil, how his shoulders draw tighter under his perfectly worn blazer, and he hunches further over his desk, just marginally.

 

_Maybe it would’ve been better  
_ _if I had said something, anything–_

 

Tutoring, though, is tedious. Or so he finds. Iori is smart, and tries, while Tamaki doesn’t particularly care to. The effort is too much.

But he sits with Iori when Iori does his homework and nags Tamaki to do his, until Tamaki falls asleep. And, without fail, every time Tamaki wakes up, his blazer has been draped across his shoulders, his pens and pencils reorganized,  and the only person around is still Iori, nose buried into a textbook. He doesn’t know what to say, but even if Tamaki had wanted to speak, he is never sure what Iori would respond with.

If Tamaki was honest with himself, he would admit that he is afraid to know.

 

_But today, like every other day,  
_ _I listened to you talk the entire time._

 

Walking home together, there is no one to bother them, and Iori is more like himself, how he is at home, flustering when Tamaki offers him a snack and pokes fun at him, and worrying over their most recent test.

And even when Iori is lecturing Tamaki about his own not so phenomenal grades, Tamaki much prefers this.

There is a lot he could be saying, but he finds Iori’s voice nicer to listen to than his own. Why should he bother speaking, when he has no idea what to say? When Iori’s words are far more eloquent than his own?

He is not content, but there is nothing he knows to do to fix this.

 

_(Love) I want to tell you –_

 

Grades are important to Iori. Tamaki knows this. Does he understand? Absolutely not. Does he try? Why not?

And so he does. And as he sits under the sun at one of the outside tables of Fonte Chocolate eating from an array of desserts Iori had ordered, listening to said provider of sweets lecture him about consistency, Tamaki can’t help but smile, hearing the half-hearted effort in Iori’s tone.

“Maybe if you reward me every time,” he interrupts, cutting into another bite of flan to hide the unexplainable heat rising to his cheeks, smiling when he gets the blunt response of

“Only if you do well. And stop sleeping in class,” because it’s so Iori, he expects nothing else, and seeing Iori smile into his own plate despite his seemingly harsh words, pulls at something in Tamaki’s chest.

 

_(Love) but I know these feelings are a double-edged sword_

 

It isn’t until he’s watching Iori and Riku’s Fly Away performance that Tamaki begins to understand.

It’s not just irritation over the way girls in their class had been clamoring over the images of the duo’s linked hands or the twinge of jealousy that had hit him when Riku jumped on Iori’s back that night at home, rubbing their cheeks together in excitement.  

It’s the way Iori looked at Riku as they gave their bows, a softer version of the look that girls at school give Iori, one of being completely enraptured, yet not so shallow.

 

_(Love) that will only trouble you  
_ _so I’ve locked them away._

 

But Tamaki has seen Iori’s own inner struggle.

Has seen the way Iori’s posture stiffens, heard the way his tone sharpens, and doesn’t know to feel jealous or relieved that Riku has no idea. No idea that this Iori isn’t the Iori that Tamaki walks alongside daily at school, the Iori that has effectively stolen the hearts of every girl in their class because he is nothing less than polite and kind to each and every one of them, the Iori that cannot voice his own feelings in the face of the sun that shines not on him, but someone else.

And yet, Tamaki can say nothing.

 

_You’d no longer smile if I were to  
_ _voice these unspeakable feelings–_

 

It’s one day when they’re sitting at home, Iori studying, Tamaki watching Iori, head on his arm as his fingers lazily trace patterns across the table, that Tamaki finally speaks.

He takes in Iori’s straight backed posture, and thinking about the girl who confessed to Iori just after school despite Tamaki’s presence, thinking about the gentle smile she received alongside the ever polite apology, thinking about the flush across Iori’s face when Tamaki had questioned him on their usual path back home, that Tamaki asks, eyes still on Iori.

“Ne, Iorin,” He starts, waiting for an affirmative noise before continuing, “You’re kind of ideal, you know?”

He’s met with Iori slamming his textbook shut and looking up instantly, a blush across his face as he stammers out, “What do you mean by that?!”

So Tamaki lists off lazily, eyes still fixed on Iori, “You’re smart, you’re popular, I mean, you’re always surrounded by girls at school, you’re athletic too…oh, and you’re good looking too--” and he’s cut off as Iori makes a choked noise of protest, demanding to know what brought this up, and Tamaki merely shrugs, unable to explain that he knew not what had possessed him to say even that much.

There is no relief when Iori doesn’t pursue the topic.

 

_and honestly that’s more painful.  
_ _I’m sorry; I love you._

 

But Tamaki knows now.

After seeing the hesitant reach of Riku’s hand for Iori’s.

After seeing the soft smile on Iori’s face when he presses his forehead against Riku’s after he and Tamaki have returned from school, and Riku is there, waiting.

After seeing sunshine beam at Iori, always to be returned by the gentlest of touches.

 

_I wish I could embrace you right now,  
_ _take you away with me to somewhere far–_

 

The applause ringing in his ears, Tamaki takes his bow, Sougo’s hand clenched tightly within his own.

When he looks to his side, there is clear elation on the other’s face,

but Tamaki can only barely smile.

Smile as they walk off stage,

and the tears begin to fall.

 

_But I won’t let this impossible love of mine  
_ _reach you._

 

end.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Miss You" lyrics translation (c) [Seigyokus @ tumblr](http://Seigyokus.tumblr.com)  
> Beta by [Seigyokus @ Ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/seigyoku)
> 
> AKA Thank you to my beautiful roommate who stays up to scream with me.
> 
> EDIT 27 Dec 2015: I woke up this morning to two different friends screaming at me to go look at the beautiful art [Mints](http://tmblr.co/ZVO_tw1_if8pm%20) did based on this fic ;;; please go support her work<3


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